Author’s note : There’s nothing like the combination of heat wave and dental pain to inspire me! I love this show so far–and I hope you enjoy this mini-fan fic! Rated PG.
*All screencaps from dramacool.io*
Cue Kim Hee Ae’s cellphone ringing with this tone:
Noonim! It’s me! How’s it going?
It’s you! Oh my goodness! Haven’t you started your Military Service yet? What are you waiting for?
Ah, Noonim, it’s so hot outside today! I’m just taking a little rest here:
with my Sesa Living bedding, reading over some scripts, seeing if I can cram in one more project before I go away for two long years in the military. Did you get some Sesa blankets and bedsheets for your house too? They’re in all the cool shows now, like “Five Children”:
and “Start Again”.
Ah geez! Just hurry up and go do your military service already! The sooner you go, the sooner you get back. And yes, I went to the store and got some Sesa Living blankets and sheets. They’re so pretty and soft. Not like the blankets and sheets on the bed in your rooftop….uh, never mind!
Ah, Noonim, are you missing me? (low chuckle) Maybe not. You’re busy right now with a new show. I’ve been watching it, yunno.
Oh? (Mild surprise) Heh, didn’t think you’d have time…what with flying here and there, winning award after award while I fold laundry and taxi the kids around! (pout)
I always have time for you, Noonim. So let me see if I have this plot straight: You are a smart and funny, but stressed out television PD who is stuck dealing with a clueless young staff devoid of common sense and detail orientation. You have a “hate at first sight” trope with the old ahjussi…
Old ahjussi?! Pffft! He’s 6 years my junior! I’m his noona too! **snort**
He looks way older than you, Noonim. You know it, I know it, and all the viewers know it. You still look and act like a beautiful young lady. That ahjussi won’t ever be able to keep up with you. He’s not in good health. He must need extra fiber in his diet because he’s very crabby. I think he needs surgery too. I believe he has a stick that is wedged in where it doesn’t belong. That might be part of what is clogging him up. And the younger dude who he’s kinda-sorta related to…
He’s a bold punk who thinks you’ve got it goin’ on! Do I need to go talk to him?
Uh, yeah–heh heh (nervous laugh, talks a little too quickly) Yeah, I think he’s the older brother of one of my teenage son’s friends. I swear he was over at the house playing video games with my boys and scarfing down pizza and soda pop a couple of months ago, and now he’s in this show with me. With my two sons and all their friends hanging out this summer, I can’t keep track of who’s who–or keep any food in the fridge.
Eh, I’m not worried. He’s still a boy….like that Song Joong Ki. That was quite an interesting reference the writer threw in the first episode for you:
Are you his fangirl too now, like over half of the ladies in Korea?
Omo! How embarrassing! I don’t know why the writer had me say that. I mean, his body is ahhhhmazing:
but he’s not really my type. He still looks like a boy….
I know Noonim. You prefer a man. (softer) A man like me. A man who can touch the deepest part of your heart and soul with music.
A man who understands you, and knows your innermost thoughts and feelings.
A man that can take care of you, and can give you a night filled with–
(interrupts) Yes! Of Course! I…I mean what woman wouldn’t want that?! (flustered)
I can tell, Noonim. He’s not even worthy of me being jealous. Look at the way you held on to that young punk when he gave you a ride on the motorbike:
But when we were on the scooter, it was like this:
(shaky voice) Well, um, that was because when we shot that scene together it was at night! It was more dangerous–you and I both know the traffic in Seoul is crazy. **fans self** I had to hold onto you tightly. You asked me to do that.
And…and it was cold that night. So I had to lean my head on your shoulder, to…to keep warm. **looks for handkerchief**
Oh, ok! (eyeroll) I’ll grant you that. Plus, you didn’t have much experience riding motorcycles before our show, right? Now you are more confident. Confident enough to do a bungee jump scene this time around?
Heavens no! That was a stunt double who jumped. I just had to be up on that platform for hours. I’m well past the age where I would go bungee jumping.
I agree. It’s too much. Speaking of which–there have been a couple of scenes that were too much for me…like when that cabbie was ogling your legs:
or when you took your dress off and wore just umm…..that black lacy slip around the house. (cue ears turning red)
PD-nim is being quite gratuitous with his camera angles! Noonim, what if your husband saw you like this on TV? Or your sons…. or their friends??!! **shudder**
(eyeroll) Aw, don’t worry about that. They see much more at the pool or the beach, I’m sure of it. Plus, my husband and boys don’t pay attention to my work anyways. It’s better that way. I have a beautiful body–
I know, I know. (softer) I…I just don’t feel comfortable that everyone else knows that now too. It should be a private thing…(whisper) something for only my eyes, Noonim. Like the lace on the stockings you wear and on your–
(interrupts) Heh, you’ve been doing sageuks for too long where all the ladies are covered up from collarbone to ankle in hanboks. It’s affected your brain. Maybe you do need a new project!
(pouting) You were even looking at that crabby ahjussi’s backside when he was walking up those steps!
Heol! That ahjussi has the tiniest booty I’ve ever seen. What’s there to look at? Besides, I like a nice, round, firm backside on a man, preferably in denim jeans–soft, faded, worn denim jeans. (whisper) Gives me something to hold onto while we hug, and ummm….
Mmm, I do have a nice backside, don’t I?! (cue self satisfied smirk) You can’t resist checking me out, can you?
(dreamy sigh) Never could. You know I’m weak….but I like checking out the front of your jeans too:
You’re right, In-ah. I have more confidence now. Maybe we should try that new “hand lotion skill” thing…
Noonim, please! Don’t you know what your wickedly sexy words do to a sensitive guy like me?! **looks down at front of pajama pants**
Why yes, I do! (giggle) Ok, ok–I promise, I’ll be good now! **puts tube of hand lotion in purse**
You’re always good, Noonim! And it seems like you are enjoying filming the show, even if it’s super fluffy and sweet. I was surprised that you would do something like this after you told me:
I know, right?! This show should come with a ‘sweetness overload’ warning label right next to that parental guidance “15” label. But I don’t want roles where I’m stuck being somebody’s mom. I already have to do that everyday. It gets boring. And that ‘Mrs. Cop’ drama…arrgh! (shakes head furiously) I never want to do something that awful ever again. It took me months to mentally recover from the stupidity of the writers and PD. My fans weren’t too happy either.
Noonim, the plot of this new drama seems pretty formulaic to me too. You know I hate seeing you have to be rescued over and over again by the crabby ahjussi or that puppy eyed boy because your dimwitted staff pulled a bonehead move and put you in danger. You’re better than that. You are a smart, strong, capable woman. You don’t need to be rescued twice per episode to have a plot. Can’t the writer think of anything else?
You rescued me too, In-ah. Remember when you drove me around Seoul all night in my BMW with my face cut up from the ‘shooting star’?
I do remember. I was just glad the car didn’t break down. BMW’s do that a lot, yunno. (slightly irritated voice) I also remember you ditched me when I was looking for a place for us to sleep!
You…you were looking for a hotel room, for goodness sakes! (breathlessly) What would people think?
Well, where else were we gonna sleep? I didn’t want to sleep in the car all night! It was winter time and it was cold. (exasperated sigh)
Look, I know this show is not A-level material like I’m used to. I’m running out of options here. I can’t just take the kids to school, hit the gym, stop at the grocery store, get my hair or nails done, and go shopping at the mall before I pick the kids up again from school in the afternoon and make some dinner for everyone. I need something more to do with my life. Writers don’t write a lot of interesting dramas for ladies who are past a certain age–in fact, this show is recycled from Japan! I’m sure Director Ahn and Writer Jung are having an extended pity party together after the episode cut of “Heard it Through the Grapevine” last year, and that’s why I haven’t received a call from them about any new dramas they’ve got in the pipeline. I need to send them a message, and see what they are up to–thanks for reminding me. Besides, you’re one to talk. Your last movie had tons of recycled material. Lemme see…you were a top star who had an affair with an older woman, and then you even had a cute baby boy with her! (cue pouty face)
Noonim, we could’ve had that happen too. Unfortunately, we just didn’t have enough episodes written for us. It’s like what Yeon Joo said in that new show “W–Two Worlds”:
Now I know. Fan Fiction–that’s what happens next. Don’t worry–we can still have that to look forward to. And we have chemistry. There aren’t any pics of you and the crabby ahjussi or the puppy boy like the ones we took back then, are there?
(whisper voice) No…no. There won’t ever be pics like that again….(louder) until you get back from your military service! Then we’ll see…
Ah, Noonim. I know you will miss me while I am gone. Two long years since we’ve been together…and now two more years while I am in the military. That’s more than twice the time you were supposed to be in prison in our show. I’m going to be missing you–a lot. Hmm…what shall I play everyday to remind me? Perhaps this piece?
In-ah, I’ve read the fan fiction. You survived then, and you’ll survive this time too. Put all that hardware you won on a shelf, have your folks watch over your house, and get your agent to neatly stack all the scripts sent to you in two piles; one for your ‘comeback’ drama, and one for your ‘comeback’ movie. Take a two-year break so that someday we can do another show together if the DramaGods deem it permissible. (softly) I’ll be waiting….
I’ll be waiting for you too noonim…!